The days to the end of my last semester were nearing, I had a few more assignments haunting my to-do list but all I could concentrate on was the cursor on the screen hovering over the words: confirm purchase. I had dreamt of this moment for so long but now that time has come my mind was racing if this was truly the right decision, and if I can do this on my own. It might have been the excitement that overtook the fear because before I knew it I had an email in my inbox verifying the world ticket, Toronto to Bangkok and return three months later Amsterdam to Toronto.
Dreaming and acting are two very different acts but I always found myself better at the first. Blasting Mumford & Sons while envisioning taking on the world was simple, but surely pursuing it, frightened me. At the end of the day, I didn’t have a choice, this was something I dreamt of for the last 9 years and the dream that got me through the days I didn’t want to work, I knew that what I wanted to experience was never going to appear from the comfort of my own home. It takes me back to one of my favourite books, The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, the author mentions the merchant’s outlook on his dreams as he states, “I’m afraid that if my dream is realised, I’ll have no reason to go on living … I’m afraid that it would all be a disappointment, so I prefer just to dream about it”, and I couldn’t face seeing myself in that merchant, choosing to always prefer to dream a dream. So I took my savings, my backpack, packed a few good clothes, and headed out into the world.
The plan was tentative. All I had was a ticket to Bangkok to Japan and a flight back home from Amsterdam, but I needed to figure out where I’d go in between. I had a month in Japan staying with family where I could find time hunting down good deals on flights. Whatever was cheapest often turned out as my next destination. Slowly these destinations become clearer, Japan to South Korea to the Philippines and to Australia. Later flying to Singapore to Malaysia and away to Europe.
The days nearing my solo departure were creeping up while my nerves intensified and my mind filled with questions about my capabilities, “Can I really do this on my own”, and “what if something happens?” My mind just kept racing. Luckily the time spent in my head became short-lived and soon enough my month in Japan was over. I was on my flight heading to Seoul, Korea. It might have been staying in hostels that saved me because as I met other travelers and heard their stories, my confidence grew that this wasn’t so daunting after all. I imagined my confidence growing throughout these months, still, there were other lessons I learned, things I saw that I never expected. I spent my whole life traveling but maybe doing things on your own makes you a lot more observant, there are not always people to talk to and sometimes great people come along, you talk all night like you’ve known them before and in the blink of an eye you both separate into independent directions, merely holding on to the worthwhile conversations you’ve exchanged. Constant change, constant discomfort, constant inconsistency became my normal and these are just some of the things I learnt through it all.
1. Trust yourself
We likely spend our lives surrounded by people we know, by people who care about us, about what we do. When people hold concerns about us they tend to have an opinion on our actions, though this can be helpful in guiding us through tough decisions it can also alter our personal trust when the gravity of other opinions overtake our own. This was a difficulty I struggled with myself. I found myself looking towards others for answers when obstacles occurred which created a lack of confidence in myself. Failing to understand what I wanted after constantly putting others’ opinions on a pedestal. When you solo travel there are many decisions you have to make and most times you will have no other choice but to make it on your own. Although at the beginning it can seem daunting, the more time passes those decisions become easier to make and the trust we create with ourselves grows. When we let go of others’ expectations of who we are, a multitude of space is freed in our minds to discover who we want to be.
2. Beauty appears from context not appearance
In mainstream media, it is not rare to see constant beauty standards surrounding us. Telling us how to define beauty. It may seem to a society that beauty is a standard, an objective of a culture. Though if I were to pose the question, what is one thing every person in this world can agree is considered beautiful? There will often be varying answers. When starting off my travels the city skylines and grand stature of a waterfall and trees would create a glimmer of awe in my observations. However, as time passed and such grand landscapes became rather standard, that astonishment slowly faded, and what was once considered beautiful in my eyes soon became irrelevant; standard. When I visited the city of Budapest, Hungary I had the privilege to stay with my sister’s boyfriend’s parents, who were Hungarians themselves. They showed me around the city and shared stories of its past and with each recounting of historical events, my fascination grew. Some of my favourite countries I’ve visited are solely favourites because of its tales. When you understand the history of a country, of a place, when you get to hear the story behind the eyes of a culture the beauty will amplify. So as advice to your next destination, learn about where you’re going and what’s made that destination the place it is today, the hardships and accomplishments they’ve been through, and you will find your enjoyment increases in a variety of different ways.
3. Stop and smell the roses
In the 1800’s it was common to hire people as alarm clocks, today we can easily set it on our phone before heading to bed. We receive same-day deliveries and can acquire groceries without leaving the house. Life may have become more convenient for us yet we find ourselves becoming constantly rushed attempting to finish the next thing or arrive at the next destination. Maybe we are blessed for the conveniences we have now, but maybe it’s better to slow down every once in a while. The odd feeling when travelling is that there isn’t an expectation or feeling of having to do something, the time is yours to use willingly as you’d like. This gives you the chance to stop and smell the roses, to stand at the front of ruins observing the cracks imagining what it once used to be like. Many times I enjoyed just sitting down on a bench at a park and watching the world go by or just listening to the waves crashing on the shore learning to understand that meaning fails to arise with things that are rushed, it’s created slowly like the growth of a tree. Even when there are responsibilities to fulfil and tasks to complete it’s important to take things slowly to create meaning in life, to appreciate the slow work instead of trying to rush everything for “nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished” – Lao Tzu
4. Be open to uncertainty
It may feel safer to book everything in advance. From the flights to the hotels to the places to eat but it’s important to leave room for spontaneity. The best events often occur when you don’t know what to expect. For me, this came on a night in Kuala Selangor where I had walked on a highway to get to my tour but by the time the tour would be over it would be 10 pm and I had no idea how to get home. However, this was the night I met some great friends who ended up driving me back to my hotel and because I had no plans for how to spend the next day we ended up spending the day together leading to visits to Padi fields and road trips chasing the train to later attending a Malaysian Hari Raya open house. Uncertainty can be scary at times but when the fear dissolves great things are bound to happen.
5. There’s never a right way to life this life
When you grow up in a town where goals never stray too far from home, it’s easy to believe there are not many paths to this life. Easy to think that there are expectations like getting a degree, a good job and then buying a home to follow, all close by some childhood friends and all close by family. Though these can lead to a good future there’s no certainty this is the life you want. It’s more likely the only path you understand. The great thing about meeting people on their own journeys and travels is you realise there are a lot more people living this life unconventionally. From starting over at 27 and leaving everything you know to living in 6 different countries or finally going home at 50 years old, you often realise that those choices are really up to you. There’s no need to rush to get everything so fast because “there’s nothing impressive about living a life you do not like if you do not have to”.
There are innumerable lessons I have gained from the opportunity to solo travel to different countries around the world and meet a multitude of people all with their own stories. These lessons are only just a short list I get to share, yet hopefully, this will inspire you to journey on your own travel adventures or understand how the rewards will outshine the fears we carry about stepping out into this world on our own. We often fear visiting another country because we fear what will happen if we face a hurdle. If we have to rework plans, it can be scary when you don’t know the area or language. Yet understand that in many countries there are people who are more than willing to help. Humans often find joy in being of use, in offering a hand, so don’t be fearful to ask for help when it’s needed and never forget to pause and enjoy the ride along the way because once it is all over you will crave the adventure all over again.
Great message, congratulations)))))
Thank you, I appreciate the comment!